Can you visualize a private concert where Dr. Victor Olaiya, Sola Alysson, Bracket, Psqaure, Westlife, 2face, Lagbaja, Beautiful Nubia, Tosin Martins, and a host of other artists perform their evergreen love songs? You would be bubbling with nostalgia right?
Well, would you believe me if I told you that concert held in my apartment at the dawn of Valentine’s Day? Fully sponsored by spectranet and YouTube, I had an amazing morning reminiscing, dancing, and singing along with my Rexona body spray doubling as a wireless microphone. I think this is gradually becoming a Valentine’s Day ritual for me as I remember vibing to these evergreen songs the previous year.
Talking about the previous year, I had the most horrible date ever last year. I went out with this guy who was chyking me at the time; Tall, cute, dark, easy-going, soft-spoken, business-oriented, and a great cheerleader so I said yes to the date. We hadn’t even sat for ten minutes when Oga started to prattle about how our colleagues told him that I would never date him, how some class of men is my choice and how he also fits into my spec. I cast him a look of horror but he didn’t seem to comprehend and he went on and on. It was more of a presentation than a conversation but for the absence of slides and screen. Whatever happened to his self-esteem?
I retired into a long silence as I fixed my thoughts and gaze on the mouthwatering barbecue. I honestly do not remember if I prayed any MFM-inspired prayer but what I do remember is that God shut his mouth like Zachariah and I got home in one piece with my ears intact.
Back to my Valentine’s Day gist jare
My friend Adenike woke up that morning feeling mushy, I’m not sure if it was the songs or the credit alert from her husband but I suddenly discovered that I had a shakespeare reincarnate under my roof as she wrote epistles to her husband and though I didn’t read the content, she had me screaming “God when” inaudibly and envisaging married life plus the oppression from my married contact on Whatsapp was something else. I was just reading orisirisi love epistles up and down. Anyway, I have told them to patiently wait till I am pronounced Mrs lagbaja, This hopeless romantic will disturb their phones about how somebody’s son waltzed into my life and all the episodes of sweet nothings that are the music in my ears. You people will hear gist about how my bones turned to jellies and my muscles to mush. In fact my own will be eBook instead of epistles. Lol
It’s church O’clock!
As always, I streamed daystar service that morning and Pastor Sam preached about how the word works wonders. We weren’t done with the sermon when my laptop waved aurevoir. I decided to study for two hours as I had an important exam the following morning so I moved my study table and chair to the veranda but my brain was just doing eyggdkdngvsdedbd; more like it was revolting against the law jargon and complicated grammar that I had to peruse. I ended up taking tons of goofy pictures and videos then I hurried to bath when I got a call about a delivery. Prior to Valentines, I had called certain special people in my life and informed them of my desire for a valentine’s gift. If there’s one thing I resolved to do this year, it is to ask. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
I wore a strapless floral jumpsuit (not red and white, I promise) and we had a terrific photo session, Adenike had me dancing and jumping and turning 360 degrees. As in, Ty Bello needs to learn from my friend. It’s just so unfortunate that none of those pictures are blog-worthy. Lol
Oya guess where we went to?
If you are familiar with Ibadan, I’m sure you know it has so many amazing places so we had zero ado choosing a place. Where do you think we went? Paris bakery? Latitude? Stone café? Kokodome?
Well, we went nowhere. Sorry to disappoint you. How could we possibly gallivant when we had a law examination staring us in the face? I even had to turn down my invitation to an event as well. It pained me but I consoled myself that there will be plenty of time to make merry. I had Roju by Chike on repeat as we gisted about all things love, relationships, sex, and marriage.
This Valentine’s Day made me realize that gifts were one of my major love languages. Oh have I told you about my gifts? Everyone came through for me; I got chocolates, a cute handbag, perfumes and body sprays, a pack of cupcakes, a bottle of baileys, an iPhone and fooood. Adenike also got our dinner from Hexagon so there was plenty to eat. I polished off everything like a hungry lion, even I, was scared for my stomach. I ate everything as though they came with an early expiration.
Mojola, ji ma sun!
Reality started to dawn on me that I had an examination the following day after I had maxed out all the edibles. Adenike and I decided to do graveyard shift since we didn’t really study during the day then sleep came in like a mighty flood. Ah! Abomination! I almost chanted incantations but no mamalawo in my lineage ke. I leapt to my feet and dashed towards the kitchen. I settled back on my chair feeling awake with a bottle of fearless energy drink.
At 12 am, I joined Pastor Nathaniel Bassey’s halleluiah challenge and it was dance galore. I felt so refreshed and elated in my spirit that I danced all the dance that I was reserving for my wedding, my plight now is which dance will I dance on my wedding day laidis?
Halleluiah challenge ended and my head went back to being buried in books. I silently wished that I could go to bed and someone or something could do the reading on my behalf while I slept; more like some sort of wearable technology infused with artificial intelligence. (I am so in love with tech and how we are gradually becoming demiurgic in product development)
I started to feel bloated and uneasy. I gripped the bottom part of my stomach as I hurried into the toilet. I had to use the toilet thrice and I was still not feeling fine. I continued to wade through the bulky material as I prayed for God to ease the pain. I eventually had the urge to visit the toilet again but this time it wasn’t to poop, I vomited everything that I ate during the day and felt a huge relief.
I decided to take my bath at 4 am so I could have the remaining time to study but I was ushered out of the bathroom with a cacophony of drums and a masculine voice beckoning on people to come out while singing. It had eluded me for a moment that the pastor behind my house held neighborhood devotions on Mondays. I let out a short rant with a teary eye. When I am mad about something these days, it’s better I go mute or I’d start to cry. Hard girl indeed
I honestly will never understand why some Christians do these things; imagine waking a whole neighborhood with drums and loudspeakers. We seem to forget that there may be sick people who are finding it difficult to sleep or employees on shift duties who desperately needed a short nap, there may be people who have crucial virtual meetings or another Christian who craves a personal “quiet time” with God. Times have changed and things have evolved for us to be pulling some town crier stunts. Jesus wants us to be many things but selfish isn’t a part of the list. Please pardon my digression, I’m pained ni
Valentine’s Day was beautiful, I felt loved and happy. I look forward to having more memorable Valentines. Oh, I forgot! Another friend who promised us a valentine’s treat took us out a few days after to an exquisite restaurant. Their basmati rice and peppered turkey sent my taste buds to Paris and gave me a countless foodgasm. What I didn’t understand was how a bottle of fearless drink was a thousand and five hundred nairas. Fearless oh! That I buy in carton in my house.
The drinks were so overpriced that the dramatic village geh in me insisted we bought only water. Am I the only one who hates feeling cheated? Heavens above! Why would I buy a drink for almost seven times the original price? I don’t know about you o but I shall never be caught trying to form cash madam that way and even if it is your money that we are spending together and you’re not complaining, I shall complain on your behalf wholeheartedly. You don’t need to thank me, what are friends for?
Special shout out to everyone who gave me gifts for Valentine’s, I love and appreciate you all very much. Dear JJ reader, how did you spend Valentine’s Day? Was it eventful or boring? Did you give and get gifts? Tell me all about it in the comment section.
I cherish you.